Well lets just say i haven't exactly been doing something properly... i feel really sick ... im always tired i feel light headed and feel as if im gonna collapse my head hurts my back hurts im so very stupid to go down this path again i dont reccomend it to anyone or you'll feel as crap as i do ... which isn't great so yeah. Someone put my head in a guillotine already and do the deed im so so so so so so stupid. i dont think before i do anything anymore i take jokes too far i hurt people that im closest to ... im paranoid i hate everything i do and i cant change it somehow i hate this feeling so much im such an idiot :@ :@ :@. I dont use my head i dont think im so stupid ARGHHHHHHHHHH but as my friend ryan says he says to do something constructive ... i've promised not to do something and im keeping that well ... i haven't cried for a while when i say a while i mean a few days i feel so selfish i mean other people have their own issues and im moaning on about my own stupid little problems ... how pathetic am i ? !!! I dont like who i am .... i like my image and everything ... its just what i am im a stupid stupid little girl who needs to go grow up ... i dont wanna speak to anyone about this crap it seems like drawing music singing and writing about how i feel helps ... i dont trust people much as im paranoid D: its so crap its unbeleiveable .... I think im gonna go to bed now anyway ... night !!